Identity of an Atypical College Student

Identity of an Atypical College Student

Tylor

What Is an Identity?

It is defined as the distinguishing character or personality of an individual. This is an identity in its simplest form. So, I set out on a quest to find my identity and in turn find out what it means to be me. An identity should be important for every person to realize about themselves because self-realization is crucial to being a good person.

My First Identifying Factor

 I would identify myself as an American. I was born here, my parents were born here, and my grandparents were born here. That makes me American. My ancestors are Irish and Italian, but that doesn’t make me Irish or Italian. It is unfair to the people who are those ethnicities to say that I am one of them. It is comparable to saying that I was on a championship winning team when in reality I was on that team years after they won the championship and did not actually earn it myself. Sometimes people forget that they have never actually been to the country that they associate themselves with. If you were to ask them anything about the country that they are from they are likely not to know the answer. If you ask them something about America, they have a greater chance of getting the answer right, but they still would not consider themselves American if asked the question.

After realizing that I am indeed American I must ask myself what it means to be American. Being American brings on great responsibility. You have to act perfect all the time when interacting with people from different countries because Americans are scrutinized the most out of all. America is the number one leader on the world stage and that means that a lot of eyes are on what America does. It also means that many aspects of globalization are strongly linked to Americanization. America is seen as too big to fail because if America does poorly, then the rest of the world might do poorly. America has used this philosophy on their own banks recently knowing that they needed to be bailed out in order for America to keep functioning properly. The fact that America is too big to fail means that a lot of people are relying on America to do well and therefore are looking at with more scrutiny. I know that when I visit other countries that I must be on my best behavior because people are always trying to make Americans out to be the bad guys. It comes with the territory and I realize this.

This isn’t the only thing that being American entails; it also includes a higher standard of living and with this higher standard comes more opportunity to help others. There are plenty of opportunities to help other people in other countries who were not fortunate enough to be able to help themselves. This is something that I know is included with my identity and I try to embrace it in any way possible. It is hard to do work for people in other countries, but I try my best to help people in need. I love being American and I would choose no other fate for myself. It is a blessing to be born in the greatest country in the world and that is why I find it unfathomable that people choose to say they are other ethnicities.

My Second Identifying Factor

            I am a white male. I group these two together because throughout history they have been considered one identifying factor. This is an obvious characteristic of mine that is clearly visible by all. Race can be an important thing is someone’s life and is different from an ethnicity. Ethnicity refers to cultural characteristics, location, and beliefs. Race refers to a person's appearance and has biological underpinnings. They are commonly mistaken to mean the same thing, but in reality they are vastly different.

            Race is something that I have dealt with a lot in my years. My uncle was adopted from the Philippines, but he looks black. When I was younger and I walked around with him, people would think he was my dad and it was looked down upon. I was clearly white and the fact that I was with him implied interracial relations. It didn’t really occur to me then, but people really do not like the idea that a black man could be with anyone except a black woman. I have no negative connotations of African American people, but that is because I was raised to know better. I do understand how people can grow up with the negative feelings towards black people because of how they were raised. If someone is told their whole life that African American people are the enemy and that they are people of lesser importance than they are obviously going to have bad feelings towards them. I was fortunate enough to be raised correctly and not to discriminate, but many people in this country are not as fortunate as I.

My Third Identifying Factor

I would identify myself as someone who is “settled down.” I have a fiancé and have been with her for over 5 years. We are extremely happy, but it is rare that someone at my age settles down with one individual, especially in a college setting. This aspect of my identity is crucial because it makes me change things about myself. I realize that I need to be more conscientious about my money because I need to save enough to support both of us in the future. Also I realize that a relationship is give and take, and I need to compromise with her on some views.

            Being in college itself is an identifying factor. The American College Kid has a certain stereotype that is mostly negative. A college male in America is supposed to follow one of two paths. A person can join a frat and live through college getting drunk regularly, have multiple women in his life, and own fancy things. This person is not prepared for life in the slightest. They never do any work, they don’t worry about what alcohol is doing to their system and they think that a tough day is one that they actually go to every class. This isn’t typical, but it is one of the college male stereotypes. The other version of a college student is the typical stoner. This is the one that never does any work and is too “baked” to think coherently. They do not care what others think and they are the ones that go to rallies and parties during class just because they have those set for their priorities. Neither of these two stereotypes are positive ones, but they are the typical ones portrayed in the mainstream movies and shows that are seen globally.

            My specific experience with the American identity of the college male has to do with the fact that I am engaged. Not many people my age get engaged, and when they do it is often frowned upon at this stage in life. People always say that I am throwing my life away. To those people I say that I am just starting it earlier than most. It is much better to start living at a young age and being with her makes me feel good. Sometimes people wonder why I would commit at my age and ask me how I know she is the one. I really dislike hearing these questions all the time. The people that know us do support us and that is really all that matters, but it goes against the mold. It goes against the stereotype of the typical college male, and most people do not like change.

            Another thing that goes against most college stereotypes is the fact that I do not drink. I have never been drunk or gone to a bar with the goal of getting drunk. This is weird to my friends because, like many college students, they get drunk 2 nights a week. I prefer to stay inside and watch a movie or play a game and remember what I did that night. This isn’t typical, but it is preferable. It is often looked down upon by the people that I am closest to.

Yet another college male stereotype that I do not fit is the all-nighter. I have never had to put myself through an all-night study or work session like it is portrayed in many movies. I believe it is more important to sleep than it is to study and there have been many studies that would back that idea up. There are many people that I have seen that do these study sessions but it really is not beneficial. I do procrastinate, but I try not to procrastinate to the point where I have to cram for an entire night, which leads to the next topic, coffee!

            I absolutely hate coffee. The smell of it is bad, the taste of it is bad, and the effects are bad. It is not great for your body but there really aren’t many things that can wake you up without a large amount of caffeine. I am a soda drinker which isn’t much better, but the stereotype says that I should cram for tests all night with a large cup of java in hand. My fiancé does live on coffee so we often feud about the effects and the usage purposes of it. She usually wins.

Fourth Identifying Factor

            I would identify myself as a geek. The term geek is very specific. It refers to someone who is interested in things that others are not commonly interested in. A geek is smart, but unlike a nerd or a dork they are also socially adept. A common misconception is that they are not good at working with people, but in reality they are. I classify myself as such because I am into sports and hanging out with people, but I also love working on computers. That is my hobby and it is the thing that interests me, but does not interest many others.

            I love being a geek. I enjoy video games across multiple platforms and I enjoy working with technology. Being a geek also comes with some negatives. In my experience, geeks are usually a bit more unkempt and have a hard time caring about physical appearance. When people find out that I am a computer technician they often put these images into the back of their head. It isn’t truly accurate or a fair representation of being a geek, but it is a misconception that is prominent in today’s society.

General American Stereotypes

            (1) There are many misconceptions about America that are portrayed in stereotype from, but many of the stereotypes about America are actually pretty accurate. Americans are known as being greatly obese. This obesity epidemic is fairly recent, and is actually pretty true. Americans seem to be a bit larger than their English counterparts. They have greater access to fatty foods and food in general than most other countries. In America fatty food is rather inexpensive whereas the fruits and veggies can cost quite a bit more. This may be the reason that Americans are seen as larger than other people globally. This is seen throughout my own experiences because I too am a bit larger than most. I eat these fatty foods because I can afford them, and I eat food on campus which is generally less healthy than food found elsewhere.

            (2) Another stereotype about America is that we do not care about other countries. In general this seems to be true also. I personally know quite a bit about other countries because I am a history major and other countries intrigue me, but my peers seem to know very little about the world outside of America. This, like most things, has an explanation. People in America do not converse with many people in other countries because we do not border very many unlike European countries. We also cannot move freely between countries like they can in Europe. There is a passport and a long wait in order to get to Canada or Mexico and honestly many people would rather stay in America than venture forth into sometimes hazardous Mexico. Some people do go to Canada, but it isn’t a trip that can be made often and usually people do not go there for an extended period of time. If people want to visit other countries in Europe they can do so rather inexpensively and without much hassle.

Another example of the blindness of America is that people who live in the United States often forget that they are not the only country in America. They forget that there is a North and South America and as you can see in my paper I am a perpetrator of this. I usually just say America because it is simpler and easier, but really it is because I do honestly forget to acknowledge the other American countries.

            (3) One of the only American stereotypes that actually irks me is the one about Rednecks. It isn’t fair to refer to everyone in the South as a redneck. I was born in Louisiana and lived there for a while and the people down there are just as sophisticated as the ones in the North. Most people do not even know what it means to be a redneck. It really isn’t a bad thing to be a redneck and in some parts of the country it is the highest form of flattery. Some people love hunting, fishing, drinking, and being ignorant to all other issues. Ignorance is bliss and it makes them happy not to worry about many problems that they usually have no control over. Americans often are too stressed about things that they cannot change and therefore have stress that isn’t warranted. I am one of those people. I always worry about things that I cannot change. I realize it isn’t something that I should do, but unfortunately I am not ignorant to the issues of the world and therefore I focus on them.

(4) One of the stereotypes that I am unfortunately adding to is that Americans need things bigger and better. When a new technology comes out I must have it. When I look for a car or a house I must have the best, but why? Why does it really matter if I have a car that looks nicer than you? Is it to make you jealous? I honestly have no answer to these questions, but it might be because I am ignoring them so that I do not feel bad for taking part in it.  If I have a car that runs and a house that is good for shelter, then I should be happy. Unfortunately this is not how many Americans think. They always want better things than the person next to them. Americans were actually upset when the new iPhone came out because it looked like the old one and nobody would know that they had upgraded. This idea is ridiculous. If it works better, then you should get it, but do not get it just so that other people know that you upgraded.

(5) One stereotype that is similar to one mentioned earlier is that Americans are lazy. This is similar to obese Americans, but is different on so many levels mostly because of technology. Before computers and machines, people had to do physical labor to get by, but now people can sit at a machine and push buttons. This means they can be obese and it won’t really affect their work ethic. The thing that I would say I would identify with the most is a hard worker. I move up fast in any job that I have and I achieve high accolades no matter what the job is. It’s not that I can do my job better than anyone else, it’s just that I try harder to do better. If I do not know something I try to learn it and I typically learn what I need to do fairly quickly. I am a Resnet technician and when I went into the job I honestly did not know all that much about computers. Within one year I became student manager and had learned everything that there was to know at the position. It was a great experience, but I feel as if it is time to move on because there is no more challenge, which leads me to my next point.

Final Thoughts

            Is there anything more annoying and diverse as an American? I would have to say no. Americans are so diverse that they can annoy people on different levels. They can be too loud and pushy like a “New Yorker.” They can be too stupid and slutty like the “Dumb Blonde” girl that we all knew in high school. They can constantly be talking about killing deer and driving around in their pickup truck with a shotgun like the “Redneck.” Or they can be getting drunk and saying “bro” all the time like the “typical college kid.” Of course these aren’t accurate representations of America, but it’s what makes America what it is today. It is diverse, it is constantly changing, it is sometimes oblivious to actual problems, and it is constantly using force to prove points.

All of these stereotypes are obviously a bit exaggerated, but they all serve to show what America is. It isn’t all of what America is, but it is a part of America and they show the culture of America. Other countries have stereotypes that they aren’t proud of but it shows what they are made of. One example is that Swedish girls are among the most promiscuous. This isn’t a positive stereotype but it does tell us something about Swedish culture. The people in Sweden actually see promiscuity different than in America and the people in Sweden simply do not care if the girls dress in “skimpy” clothing. I found this out working as an intern for schools in Sweden.

The term American identity is rooted in enlightenment ideals. Out of the enlightenment came many ideas and a new way of thinking. The main thing was a belief in the individual, and this led to romanticism and consequently romantic nationalism. Jean-Jacques Rousseau was a leader in this area of thinking and one of the main ideas that he had was that people should identify with their country rather then themselves and that their country is the individual which should be fought for. The idea of a national identity comes from beliefs rooted in the early 1700s and it still exists today.

I think that the idea of American Identities is a horrible one because it creates strife and stereotypes that may not exist otherwise. Without creating specific identities for people there might be more unity. If there were less ways to single people out from others then there might be less discrimination, which would be good for all. Obviously the idea of an identity is inescapable, but it's always good to think “what if?”

Breaking the Curse

Breaking the Curse

Daniela Rodriguez

As I came out from beneath the protective shadows that shielded me for so long, I stood alone in the light, naked as I did from my mother’s womb. At that moment came my departure from the childhood I merely remembered, the mystery behind whom I was and the emergence on whom I was to become. It was then that I understood where I was going and where I truly identified myself. I was a young Latin American woman going after an education. However, it wasn’t my ethnicity that was important but the person I created from every circumstance and label. It was something I didn’t stress and what it meant to me, I would soon uncover.

As a Latina in my hometown, people always put me in the category of the stereotypical Hispanic household: plays soccer and handball, there are 20 people living in the house, every day they eat eggs, beans, rice and tortillas, they’re loud and short tempered and, lastly, they have a stay-at-home mom who does everything for them. Of all those stereotypes we only lived up to three. My mom was a house mom, we did eat tortillas often, well at least my father did, and my father loved soccer. However, these weren’t determining factors to who we wanted to be and where we wanted to go. My parents worked hard for my sister and I to get us out of that category, still maintaining the culture. In a way, we began to Americanize ourselves, adjusting to the lifestyle we wanted, all at the same time creating our own dream and identity. But I always knew the importance of my background and how I would keep it alive without allowing it to consume my identity, while having the confidence that it would never fade through my actions.

To me, being an American meant that you had privileges amongst the nation, simply by being physically born in the United States of America. Some people had to earn that right of being called a citizen with a test that was far from easy. It didn't seem fair to just be deemed a citizen without proving it. This influenced me to look deeper into what it meant to be identified as an American. The interest and importance was there, but it wasn’t something that I was going to praise. Often times when I fill out applications, if not all, they ask if you are Hispanic. It's separated from all the other categories as if it's in its own section. Why? Because of the one epidemic most Hispanics suffer with: immigration. It was an epidemic from which the majority of my entire family came from, which brought me to the land of opportunity.

Being a Latin American to me means more than just speaking Spanish and having ancestors of Hispanic descent. It is a culture that I will always appreciate and it’s a part of me that I can never and don't ever want to change. It is where my outlook in life came from, the roots that grew deeper and deeper into my being. But I didn’t allow that to stop me from becoming versatile and diverse, because I knew I would have to do so eventually in order to get where I wanted. Plus, I liked it better that way. Life felt and looked so much better in that perspective. I always disliked the idea of labeling things and categorizing people into a “race” or “stereotype,” even though it’s inevitable and often true. But my “race” didn’t determine who I was, rather where I came from and only that. I wanted to break the curse that being a Latina brought upon me. That is the question this brings: what was this terrible curse that I couldn’t live with? It was being forced to live in the never-ending cycle of an isolated culture. It was living up to the expectation of getting pregnant at a young age and becoming a housewife. It was allowing my cultural background and ethnicity to grow so strong and scream so loud into my mind, forcing me to believe there was no other way but that way. It was allowing me to be so cultured that I wouldn’t want to accept anything else. Nonetheless I was the complete opposite who was determined to break that curse and rebel into my own beliefs.

My parents came to this country looking for something better, and luckily they found it. With more than two decades here now, they have been successful in fulfilling what is the “American Dream” as far as they can. Seeing where they came from, poverty and empty dreams, it feels good to know that from nothing came something great. It is what continues to add to the identity I have decided to create for myself. It is not just as an American but a Latin American that I will always name myself. However, I do not define myself solely by that.

The personal experiences that I have encountered are plenty; however there are two that stand out like sore thumbs: traveling to Italy and Prague for a week 's period of time. When I traveled to Italy for a choral competition I experienced living in a completely different environment which had a range of diversity and a predominant liberal spirit amongst the whole country. The televisions did not censor nudity nor did they take shame in it. Prague on the other hand, was more hostile. It felt like the environment wasn't at all accepting of Americans and their identity. Just by walking the streets and being tourists, citizens acted as if we were some sort of commodity they had never seen before. There was even a bit of racism when we became customers. At a grocery store the cashiers didn't bag our groceries and left them there as if we were animals. That just showed the big contrast between America and other countries. The American identity is so strong that a lot of other countries, cultures and individuals do not appreciate nor respect it one bit. Either they pursue it or they hate it. Even though these nations are more mature or open about certain things, they still have a closed mentality and attitude towards America. America can be immature in some aspects of explicitly open things or nudity, but there is openness to ethnicity and race, which is where we get the whole “Melting Pot” concept. There is an opportunity to open up the mind to the broad choices that can be endless in this nation.

But of course in this kind of environment there is no such thing as perfection. Even with the freedom that is given in America, especially when compared to other nations, it isn’t always freedom. There can be controversies and other matters within the government that make it just that much easier to dislike, especially in other countries and regions. The United States of America is known stereotypically for interfering in problems that pertain in no way to them, which causes the conflict of interest to grow deeper. For example, cases such as the wars we have had to deal with often times have nothing to do with us; simply our interest to help is what brought it upon us. It is a great trait to want to help; however, it can also lead to tragedy and baggage often times difficult to handle. A perfect example of that is the war in Afghanistan that led to the tragedy America has experience to change us forever: September 11^th, 2001.

In the times of tragedy for America, it was that one day that changed the way things would function, both positively and negatively. Homeland security became the main priority in what Americans wanted to strengthen. A young, naïve and open nation was transformed into an informed and cautious nation all at the crashing of a plane, destroying the lives of many innocents. Negatively, America took no mercy upon any citizens who had a threat of terrorism in any way about them, which sort of brought into question the Constitution and Bill of Rights and how they were being violated. At the same time, since it was a matter of national security, it would be deemed acceptable. But if everything we stand for is suddenly contradicted, where does America stand liable?

Those questions rarely have an answer; however, one thing that can be said is the idea of America being one of the greatest places to be is one that is hard to deny. Regardless of the issues we have faced, the positives that America can offer outweigh all the other circumstances. It is no wonder so many people want to come here and find a life and a way better than what they originally had. It is a place of opportunity, and thankfully through the negativity, there is still the acceptance of those coming to join the citizenship so many of us Americans benefit from greatly.

But how can I apply this to myself? Am I still just a Latin American finding a way? Or have I found it yet? I can say that I have found a way here and I can be proud to say I am an American. Not only am I a Latina, but I am an American because I have found myself and allowed all of the cultures encountered to become my own person. I cannot say I live up to the stereotype of either an American or a Latin American as people expect; rather, I make my own type of person. The person I am proud to be, who doesn’t identify themselves through race, nor color, nor language, region or advancement. I identify myself through my experiences and what I have learned from them. That is where I can say that I truly know who I am. The only way to describe myself in race is Latin America, but the way I identify myself is through my experiences. I have broken the curse of generational curses both Latin American and American.

Identity is so important to people simply because it is the only way to truly say one is an individual. These experiences have taught me to understand the difference between culture and choice. America gives us the choice to be who we want:  no matter what race or background, we can become who we want. It is in our right to do so, our birth-given rights. Being forced into a category of some kind just sounds so ridiculous and even outrageous. Although in the end it is up to the individual to allow that to happen or to change it.

The Fluidity of Identity

Here's Rice Nelson's Identification Project!

The Fluidity of Identity

If someone asked you to explain your identity to them, how would you begin?  You would probably, naturally, start by giving your name.  What would you tell them next?  The type of ethnic blood that runs through your veins?  Do you tell them that you have nothing but Italian blood in your veins and you are proud of it?  But blood does not matter much, at least it shouldn’t, because your blood is the same as the person asking you about your identity.  Maybe you would then say, well, I have skin that is this or that color.  They would probably blink at you, because unless they are blind, they already know what color your skin is.  That does not matter either, though.  Defining your identity by the color of your skin is like pointing out the living room wall to the north is green, while the one to the south is blue; they are both walls, so it doesn’t do much to differentiate.  At the same time, though, these are some aspects that are used to categorize people so that they are easily identified.  An unfortunate side effect of naturally categorizing--it’s human nature to do this--as well as socially categorizing people is that in the process stereotypes tend to formulate.  The problem with generalized stereotypes is that on an individual-by-individual basis there are a lot of fallacies; everyone is different in some way.

This is a reason why I find identity to be a funny subject.  Now, I don’t mean funny as in “let’s make a joke about this or that group of people” because they are different from what we know and consider to be normal; this attitude only creates negativity that, if left to flourish, can create some pretty nasty situations of discrimination.  No, the reason I find it funny is because of my own personal identity.  When looking back on my life I have realized that over the years my identity has not been one that is constant, and I think if you stop and look at your own past you would realize that yours hasn’t been either.  Nonetheless, when identity is discussed it seems to me that it often is spoken about as some concrete idea, some thing that is a permanent marker of who or what a person is.  That’s not the case, though.  So there is something amusing, for me at least, in the realization that, when looking back over my life, whenever I found myself identifying my person as this or that, at various points in my history on this planet, I never had conceived of being anything different than what I was at that moment in time.

What I’m trying to get at is that identity is not so easily defined, but that doesn’t stop us from creating categories as a means of identifying people so that we can quickly come to a conclusion about who they are and how we should interact with them.  But despite the fluidity that I find being involved with the concept of identity, there have always been two categories that I place myself in: a reader and a gamer.  Some of you may find this as a strange way to begin identifying who I am as a person; others of you will completely understand why I use these two qualities to start with.  The ones that find this strange might be the people who would typically start off with what race or nationality or ethnicity they are or religion they follow; this isn’t uncommon.  For a long time now, probably since the first semblance of civilization, those qualities were the ones that people most readily acknowledged--on a primal nature, recognizing these descriptors could be used to determine safety or hostility.  Those that understand why I started with those interests are probably the same kind of people that would identify themselves first as sports players, or cooking enthusiasts, or engineers, etc.  That, I think, is a shift from previous ways of determining identity, because for me identity is more useful when utilized as means of figuring out interests.  I find it much more amiable to figure out interests and passions rather than figuring out whether or not the next person over believes in the same deity as I do or if our ancestors are from the same mother country.  To that end, let me tell you a little about myself and how I have identified who I was over the years.

            As I said, I have always had at least the two identifiers of being a reader and a gamer.  They have been hobbies of mine that have been consistent within my life since I was old enough to read and able enough to handle a controller of some sort.  When it came time to start making friends it would typically be the people who either were gamers and/or readers.  Even these two things could be broken down into subcategories; for example, I would have more to talk about with those readers that enjoyed fantasy fiction like I did.  The reason I like to identify myself with my interests first, if it wasn’t already obvious, is because it makes meeting people and creating friendships easier, and probably in the long run stronger.  Back in the late '80s and early '90s, though, these means of identifying myself for others didn’t seem like the most popular way of doing so; at the time, being anything resembling a geeky kid felt like instant social estrangement.  This is just one reason that I do my best not to look at differences and mentally, or verbally, degrade my view of a person.  Relief came as the years went on, though, and I met more and more individuals who were like-minded.  And as great as these two big interests are, they did keep me in a somewhat sheltered state until after graduating high school, although a large part of that was probably due to my shyness.

            After graduation I figured my identity as a gamer and bookworm caused me to miss out on a lot of those “high school” experiences--which, at the time, I considered to be mostly partying.  So, one of the first things I started doing, in lieu of going off to college, was to start seeking out people that had similar interests in getting intoxicated in various ways and drowning myself in altered states of consciousness.  Wherever I was working I would do my best to ferret out those people that had that same urge to “get fucked up” that I did.  Those first few years after graduation consisted, then, of working and partying: I worked to pay for intoxication.  During this time I came to find myself forming a new identity to be categorized under: a pothead.

            There is a whole subculture to the lifestyle of a pothead, but that shouldn’t be a surprise, it’s been around for quite some time.  Here, now, was another way to define identity, that is, what kind of lifestyle do you have?  Whereas before it was simply partying, now there was something more specific.  Again, wherever I was working, or whatever party I might have been at, the first thing I would figure out was who the other reefer smokers were.  That more or less detailed the next five or six years of my life, and at the time that is as far as I could see at the time, just being a smoker.  Who I was and identified myself as became intrinsically tied up with my lifestyle.  All the people I met, hung out with, and avoided, depended on whether or not they also smoked marijuana; sure, my identifiers of being a reader and gamer were still there, but they took a backseat to my then current habits.  This way of living lasted a good, or bad--depending on how you look at it--six years or so; then the next shift in identity started sneaking into my life.

            I didn’t realize it during the time, but those substance indulgences were serving a purpose, one that was no longer effective.  This purpose is, I think, more common than one might think: the use of a drug (be it alcohol, marijuana, or any of the numerous others) to cover up from ourselves a problem we have.  For me, this problem was depression.  At first, the trick worked great; I completely forgot about any kind of worries or issues I had.  But in fact, the post-high school lifestyle and identity I had chosen, at some point, were only worsening the depression and anxiety.  When I realized that, I took a good look at my life.  I looked at the way I was living, the friends I kept, and thought about what I was doing for myself in the long run.  I determined that the identity I had fallen into, or walked into, was not the one I wanted, and so I made a choice to escape the category I had placed myself in.  This is one of those things that is easier said than done.

            So, shortly before I came to Fredonia I made a choice to better myself in every way I could.  I started by separating myself from the people that still wanted that kind of lifestyle; this way it would be easier to change what I felt needed changing.  Once that was done I began seeking ways to provide self-healing so that I could escape the depression and anxiety that I had accompanying me for so long.  As a result I found myself becoming a fairly spiritual person--I say fairly because I know there are others that devote a lot more time to their spiritual practices than I do, but I will acknowledge that time commitments to school play a part in that.  I began my search for a different self-identity (although I didn’t think of it that way at the time), and through my meditations, the learning of various kinds of spiritual thought, and the modes of healing I participate in and with, I formed a different way of living.  These things have become a crucial aspect of who I am today.  I try to surround myself with people of a similar mind-set, but I am also open and aware to the differences of the people around me.

Think about a major aspect of your life.  Think about all the people associated with that aspect, think about all those things you have become comfortable with, and think about what they mean to you.  Now think about removing them all.  I’m not telling you that you should actually do this, but I want you to think about how difficult it would be to pull out of your life all those facets of your character.  It’s not easy.  These are characteristics that you have either grown up with or grown into.  Now I want you to think about those people that you find to have differences of their own that seemingly separate them from you.  While identity can help categorize people, as our human minds naturally want to do, there shouldn’t be a whole load of judgmental weight put behind those categorizations.

Identity is fluid, and to put only one generalized identifier on someone leaves out all the other things they may be.  When we confine people, it doesn’t do us any good.  As I have mentioned previously, I had lived a relatively sheltered life as a young child.  My experiences with those outside of my own family and friends, social class, and ways of living were rather limited, even up through high school.  I know I’m not the only one that has experienced this kind of personal history. Through this upbringing an idea of what people were like was formed, and there wasn’t much that changed my view until many years of my life had gone by.  Even going over the events of my life, it is hard to pinpoint some experience that was truly significant in its effect on my notion of identities, more specifically, the American Identity.  Not until I was twenty-six did I have an experience that was capable of showing me the differences in who we are, generally speaking, opposed to someone not from this country.  This happened when I was taking a Writing Tutors class and we had the opportunity to help tutor a group of Japanese students over the course of several weeks.

Not knowing a whole lot about Japanese culture, because undoubtedly culture is inherently tied into identity, just like lifestyle is, I was surprised by how proper, if that is the right word, the four initial students we met were.  Their posture was very straight--I am fairly certain, if memory serves me correctly, that there was not one sloucher among them.  Their manners were very polite, almost timid and apologetic.  Just these two things felt strikingly different than the idea of the usual American’s presentation of one’s self would be; unfortunately an image of an American slouching and entitlement comes to mind, rather than someone who is of a reserved nature. 

Reserved is a very good word to describe these girls from Japan, especially when comparing them to the usual American.  I never realized the sense of freedom of character that we have here until we--the group of us in the Writing Tutors class--began hanging out with the Japanese students.  One way this stuck out to me was when we all gathered at someone’s house for a pizza and movie night.  The group of us introduced them to the movie Superbad, since we all were in consensus about how funny the movie is.  This turned out to be an interesting ordeal since we had to explain to them a lot of the slang and idioms in the movie that we, as Americans, take for granted.  It gave me the feeling that, generally, Americans are somewhat “loose” in conduct; but, then, this is only a comparison to four young students from one country.  Nonetheless, the values they were taught were completely ignored in the movie we were showing them.

The experience as a whole was very interesting because I had an opportunity to compare my own ways of living and thinking to that of a group of individuals from another country.  On a surface level it was a comparison of two national identifiers: American and Japanese.  Once the initial introduction was done, and I had time to really converse with the visiting students, I found that they weren’t entirely too different from anyone here.  They still identified themselves in relation to their interests and what they wanted to do with their lives.  As it turns out, the identity of being American or Japanese was almost superficial, barring some cultural differences.  We were able to compare the kinds of music we liked, what kind of reading we enjoyed, movies we were most interested in, and even whether or not we had similar tastes in video games.

When we look at ourselves as a nation and try to compare us to another country in a negative way we lose opportunities to have a more universal understanding of being human.  We still have a tendency to think about ourselves as American and to use it as a base comparison.  But what it means to be an American has changed numerous times throughout history, no doubt.  We have had so many sources tell us what exactly it means and how to properly be an American that it almost seems impossible to figure out a way to define and understand that notion.  Honestly, there has been few times where I have actually thought about the idea of an American identity, so this will be an exploration for me of the understanding of what that should be.

From early on we are given the idea that we are this great nation under God--which seems to be the Christian sense of God, rather than what should appropriately be a universal understanding of what a higher power may be, if this notion is to be included at all, considering we are, or at least from my understanding should be, a nation that values freedom of choice in religion and thought rather than a direct link to one particular belief.  This acceptance that we are a part of a nation that is supported by God might be part of the reason why Americans believe that it is our duty to bring awareness to others in the world on how to properly conduct themselves, which usually involves bringing our ideas of capitalism and democracy to other areas of the globe. 

So it would seem that part of our identity would include a sort of light-bearer role to the rest of the world, a model for others to follow.  While this is a great idea in that, just as people, nations should have someone as a role model, the problem is that no one is perfect.  I believe that it might do well to no longer see ourselves as a shining example of all that a nation should be, because, let’s face it, as we’re currently seeing, the condition of things here is not exactly rosy.  Instead I think it would be prudent to identify ourselves not as perfection, but rather a nation that is a work in progress always seeking to better ourselves.  This may be tied up in my own personal values as an individual, but it is a notion that feels right.

That is a macro look at the identity of America and may be sidetracking the issue of what my beliefs/principles on how we ought to define and understand American identities.  As nationals of America we can define ourselves in a variety of ways.  After getting past the nation we are a part of, we can look at more individual aspects of ourselves.  A problem with looking at individual parts of our identity to create a larger group to identify with, though, is that these can create barriers between ourselves and other Americans that may not necessarily share those same traits.  Unfortunately it seems that we have always been led to create these barriers: are you black or are you white?  Are you a Republican or Democrat? What’s your gender preference? Yankees fan or Red Sox?  We have built this inherent tendency to side ourselves in unnecessary oppositions. 

Getting beyond the “sides” of how we identify ourselves would be difficult, but maybe it is possible.  Maybe we would be able, one day, to just say that our American identity is that we are human.  Then, maybe, we could just use those identity cues as categories, rather than a standpoint.  As I said earlier, though, identity is fluid to me.  For me personally, I am a gamer, a reader, a tai chi practitioner, a spiritual-minded person, and so much more at once.  I guess the reason that I find identity kind of funny, then, is because while it gets made out to be this concrete thing, I don’t think it can be.

American Identities and American Education: Keeping the Melting Pot Simmering

Here's an Identification Project from Catherine Kilian!

American Identities and American Education:  Keeping the Melting Pot Simmering

A. Perception of My Identity:  “My Childhood Has Defined My Life”

            Intrinsic self-exploration for the sake of discovering personal identity has existed through all of time. Individuals and citizens from all types of societies with varying natures have long contemplated the question “who am I?” Throughout my life, I am convinced that I have a basic understanding of what defines me. I believe that within the timeframe of my lifetime, I have become familiar with some of the characteristics that distinguish me as who I am. These perceptions of my identity were most likely shaped by the same factors I am going to use in an attempt to explore who I am.

            I am part of a family. I am a daughter, an older sister, a cousin, a niece, a granddaughter, and a friend. I am part of a closely-knit family system. My entire family was born and raised in western New York. I have four younger siblings; two brothers and two sisters. My siblings and I have always been extremely close to one another, our parents and the rest of our extended family.

            My parents gave me a variety of experiences that provided me with ample opportunities to explore myself as a person and develop my own identity. There are various pieces of my life that I strongly value, that hold importance and guide my actions and decisions. First and foremost, my family, friends and boyfriend serve as the fence around the perimeters of my life. Like fence posts, they are grounded, stable and reliable. I depend on my family because they have never been undependable. These people are the most valuable part of my life and they have made the largest impact in it. They influenced the development of my values, morals, beliefs and principles.

            Since last summer when I adopted my dog, I have become more aware of what it requires to provide for and have complete responsibility of someone else (I say someone because I pretty much consider Tiko a person trapped in a chihuahua's body). He looks to me while trying to express his wants and needs because he knows I'll understand him best. He understands that I am the one who will get him water from the sink. He understands that his dog food is in the bottom drawer of my dresser and I need to get it out for him. He understands that when he barks near a door that I know he has to go outside. He understands that when I'm not home, he doesn't have the support necessary to fulfill some of his needs.

            I am a very important part of Tiko's life. Tiko's dependency provides some explanation of the excitement he experiences when I walk through my front door. Playing that crucial of a role in my little dog's life (the kind where when they see you they're so overwhelmed with good feelings they can't breathe), brought me to the realization that I strongly value compassion, understanding, dependability and providing for others. This instance was additional support of my choice to further my education and become an elementary school teacher.

            In today's world it is often easy to forget about your heritage and what it means to be who we are. We celebrate American unity claiming that our country's boundaries combine individuals from all walks of life into our “melting pot” society. Are we straying from our roots and leaning towards the belief that we're all simply just, American?

            I hope I never lose the interest I have towards my heritage and my family's history. I am German, Irish and Lebanese. My last name represents my family’s ties with Germany. As opposed to the likes of the Irish and their beer, “Killian's Red,” Kilian, with one L, is the German spelling of our name. My mother has curly red hair and I'm sure I've inherited my own curly hair and freckles from our Irish ancestors. My grandmother was one hundred percent Lebanese. She was a very important part of my life.

            Through her passing during recent years, I came to the harsh realization that she would no longer be here to help carry on some of the traditions and customs that she had shared and passed down to us. She left a bit of our heritage in our family and my father, which he passed on to me. I see her in myself through my dark eyes, my olive-colored skin and my inexplicable interest towards the customs and cultures of the Middle East.

            I intend to celebrate all of my ethnic roots through the constant exploration of my family, their predecessors and our history. Another ambition of mine, to celebrate my grandmother and our Lebanese heritage, is to further my ethnic cooking abilities. I am going to pass down the tradition of my favorite Lebanese foods. I will become more familiar with traditional Lebanese foods like seasoned rice pilaf, which is given texture and flavor from pine nuts, and stuffed grape leaves, which are filled with a rice-ground beef mixture. I also have high hopes and ambitions to travel to these three countries, to explore the places and people that have defined my heritage and sculpted my identity, as a person and an American.

            It is important to note that being an American citizen has played a role in my identity. The acquisition of American citizenship is sought after by many individuals. The government gently steers my actions towards our country's main interests and priorities. Regardless, I am appreciative of the many rights and freedoms my citizenship entitles me to. Many other nations and individuals are forced to abide by restrictions and government-mandated limitations, situations that strongly effected by the forces of various governing bodies. I believe that their ability to endure these often unfavorable circumstances, makes these people ideal candidates for American citizenship.

B. Experience with American Identities:  “The Influence of Diversity on My Past, Present and Future”

            Throughout my childhood, my parents have always modeled for me and given examples of ways to be--for lack of better words--a “good” person, based on the morals, values and beliefs they had already formed. They stressed acceptance and selflessness, treating others how I'd like to be treated. I've learned not to form my views of individuals off of other people's opinions, to give people an opportunity to reveal themselves before forming any criticisms. My parents were able to impress into my malleable, developing brain the concepts and perspective I hold today. I think genuine care and kindness are important aspects of my identity and my understanding of other's identities.

            When I was younger, I was given the tools and devices necessary to develop creativity and imagination. My parents had created an environment that was crucial to this development. Not having this background would have changed the way I perceive the world around me. I had baby dolls and stuffed animals, a kitchen set, a work bench and a construction hat, barbies, matchbox cars, blocks. All of these provided hours of entertainment, but more importantly, gave me various options to explore all kinds of play, instead of restricting my toys to “girly” ones. I played on the work bench. I'd wear the construction hat and talk about how I'll help my father at work in the future. I'd dress my stuffed animals up in doll clothes and push them around in strollers. I'd play “house” with my siblings, playing different roles. I truly believe that the vivid imagination I've held onto until today comes from the methods used by my parents to supplement my development at such an impressionable age.

            There should be a nationwide agreement made between our country's citizens in concern of our future, our children's future, and our grandchildren's future. The importance and overwhelming influence that parenting has on a child's developmental growth and their definitions of personal identity needs to be discussed with all individuals in all situations that are raising children. Stressing the importance of parenting, either through more thoroughly detailed explanations or more expansively, and making this knowledge and awareness available to parents and guardians from all backgrounds and circumstances, will likely cause an increase in conscious and informed child-rearing actions and decisions. Having the knowledge that you as an individual are a crucial element, a necessary requirement, in the development of a young child's identity is not only honorable but a humbling realization as well.

            I might have made the decision to enter the field of education during my childhood. My siblings and cousins would play more realistically as we grew older. We moved onto games like “court,” where we'd develop ridiculous scenarios for a case. My cousin received an overhead projector one year for Christmas. Paired with the desk I had, we made an excellent classroom set-up to play school in. We would take turns, reversing roles from teacher to learner. Creating tests and worksheets, correcting in red pen, raising our hands or shouting out obnoxious answers, we modeled strategies used by our real teachers and experimented acting out the behaviors we observed in our peers.

            My enrollment in the school district I lived in exposed me to an increasing amount of diversity. Once I had reached middle and high school, I was accustomed to the nature of diversity. I already had a good understanding of treating everyone equally, respecting all individuals; if this wasn't common sense at this point, my parents had already taught me. I also understood that while we treat everyone equally, it is not the case that we all live equivalent lives. The schools I attended encompassed a variety of students from many different ethnicities, cultures, economic backgrounds and family histories.

            My freshman year of college I had already defined my major as early childhood education, with a concentration in art. Ideally I would like to have an art classroom at the elementary level. However, I believe that to get the most value out of my education at Fredonia, I should strive to become a classroom teacher at the elementary level and incorporate all of the skills, strategies and methods I have learned thus far into a resourceful, stimulating classroom environment. The fact that I chose elementary education as a career path, driven by my morals and values to have a positive impact and influence in young children's lives, reflects my identity.

            The totality of my field placements here have presented me with the opportunities necessary to observe, experience and better understand what it's like to teach a group of largely diverse learners in a multitude of teaching styles. I have worked with students from Pre-K to 2^nd grade. These students have come from all walks of life, and are all a part of something bigger. Despite all of their cultural and ethnic differences, I saw beneficial relationships form between these children. Collectively, these groups of diverse American students belong together as part of American society and a classroom community.

             My participation in this American studies course has made me aware of the fact that one increasingly more existent aspect of our national identity is “American competitiveness.” Over time, American citizens began to shift from not only challenging their “mother country” and comparing one another's differences, to competing globally with, for and against members of other worldly countries. With the state of today's society and global economy, it only makes sense for parents, guardians and educators to raise and prepare our nation's youth for the competitive challenges tomorrow and in the future. By learning from experienced and devoted, educated adults, in a supportive, comfortable and culturally sensitive environment, young children will begin to recognize the existence of similarities and differences, equality and inequality, fair and unfair. Once students understand the inevitable nature of diversity and global expansion, they will be more readily able to appreciate strengths and understand weaknesses. Being enlightened by the environments that surround them, and becoming increasingly more accepting of others, gives young children the opportunity to become more exposed to and familiarized with, the diverse people, ideas and concepts of our world today. Multicultural education that provides a foundation for global awareness has been made possible in many areas of the world (some even in exist within our country's borders). These experiences have been made possible for students in today's society by the systematic provision of: a. equal educational opportunities that cause learners to become accustomed to varying cultures through diverse classroom composition, b. opportunities to learn and practice second (even third or fourth) languages in a world of multiple linguistics, and c. adequate opportunities to explore, discover, and make meaningful connections, in order to begin forming a level of individual understanding. In the future, those students that were able to experience valuable educational experiences, are most likely the individuals that will succeed. Our world is now populated by a global society that has (and will continue to) experience exposure to an ever-changing, constantly altered state of existence. The preservation of our world will be made most possible by the extent of which our future generations participate in global affairs and develop environmental and humanistic consciousness and are aware of the impact that is (or isn't) occurring.

            Knowing this, it was difficult for me to witness segregation by teachers of students in some districts. The segregation was not meant to divide students by race or socio-economic status. Rather it was meant to separate students of varying academic abilities. Ironically, this basically entailed that these American students who were speakers of different languages and less socio-economically advantaged were struggling learners. The backgrounds and circumstances children live in will affect the way students learn. With English being a second language and parents working too late to be available, these students have not experienced the enrichment necessary to succeed at the same level as their classmates. In my opinion, this type of labeling seems detrimental to the construction of confidence and self-esteem and therefore the students’ success. If students at this age continue being identified in this manner, it will undoubtedly influence the way they form their identity.

            In addition to being criticized or treated unfairly by someone in person, even the history textbooks used in some classrooms are used to delude the youngest generations of American citizens from truth of our prior experiences as a nation. These textbook 'stories' are often fabrications of historically true events and real accounts, that have been intentionally designed and very specifically chosen to effectively create the standard “American Identity” one may see today, designed in respect of our forefathers' ideals (regardless of the circumstances that influenced them over a hundred years ago). Not only do I worry from my standpoint as a future educator, I also play the role of an adult, concerned with humanistic values, like honesty and the well-being of children. I have now become aware of the fact that many classroom social studies textbooks contain misleading text that makes them unreliable sources. For this reason, I have become unsettled by the notion that records of American history could be equally unreliable and untrustworthy.

            My teaching methods are going to reflect the manner in which I was raised and the information that I have gained through my past experiences and observations in the classroom. Using American identity as a common ground, a group all students are a part of, I intend to teach acceptance and celebration of culture. I want to use this as a basis to form lessons addressing all levels of learners. In theory, I hope that this practice helps eliminate, or at least lessen, the existence of discrimination and stereotyping that is so prevalent in society today.

C. What Can We Define American Identity As? “Our American Identity as the Melting Pot Is Soupy”

            American identities can be interpreted in a variety of ways. In being citizens of this country, one would assume these individuals might classify themselves as American. However, I made the surprising realization that, despite having been born and raised a citizen of this country, when asked how I would define my identity; “American” would never be my first response in describing myself. I oppose the view that as United States citizens we should mask or blend our heritage into the generality of being an American. When asked to define myself, I would have first listed the people that have defined my family's heritage, giving my culture and family history more credit to the creation of my “American identity.” This view should easily be accepted, even by those individuals who truly classify themselves first and foremost as American.

            Publicizing our country for generations as “the Melting Pot,” the juxtaposition of cultures, race, ethnicities, it should come as no surprise that we, as a society hold so many different perspectives and outlooks. I believe that the existence of “the American Dream” seems like an illusion to so many of our citizens as they make their way into our American society. Our country's definition of “well-being” and “success” do not meet the expectations of those individuals who have left their homes and families to come to American in hope of searching for, finding, and experiencing a “better life.” Different cultures have different standards and definitions for these ideas. While reaching “the American Dream” might be an attainable goal for an individual who has lived in the country their whole life, it is often impossible for immigrants or migrants to succeed this far into American society.

            With the increasing amount of diversity that exists within the United States, is it really possible to create a definition that reveals the identities of all Americans? The amount of discussion, debate and inequality that still exists today, gives me the impression that we are currently involved in the process of defining what it really means to identify ourselves as American. Although I am American, feeling an overwhelming sense of pride and nationalism for our country rarely occurs.

Defining what American Identities is on a universal level would not be supportive of the United States. Other countries seem to use degrading stereotypes to express the negative connotations they hold in association to our American identity. Since this is the case, it must also be plausible that American citizens define our identity in more than a multitude of ways. Definitions of what it means to be American would most definitely reflect an individual perspective. We would define American identity individually, based on personal life experiences, history, etc. So is it even possible for our nation to develop an American identity that encompasses all of our citizens? I am convinced that continually over extended periods of time, individual perceptions (as well as generalized opinions), are influenced by the most current status of general societal perspective and the most widely publicly-supported beliefs during that time. I am led to believe that visible trends and patterns have been documented by our nation's history, but are often ignored or manipulated in meaning.

What really defines us as “American” besides the fact that we live in America? America was established hundreds of years ago. However, with the misconstrued, altered stories of our country’s history, we shouldn’t use any one specific defining action taken by our American predecessors to define our identity. Maybe our identity could be linked to the fact that the people of our country are free. For example, the freedom of speech is not something traditional to the rest of the world. The fact that America is a young, growing, changing country might define us. But I think as long as we’re still learning what works best for our country and our people, that we’re still constructing our American identity.

            At this point in my life, I believe American identities can be most accurately defined as follows: the existence of American identity is composed of our diverse citizens. American identities reflect the vastness of our people’s culture, race, ethnicity, customs, faiths, beliefs, principles, morals, lifestyles and backgrounds. We are “the melting pot.” Not only does the society we exist within today still exemplify our country’s diversity, it is constantly growing, adapting and changing our identity, as well. American society and identity are continuously in progressive, adapted movement, like the motion of simmering contents inside of a melting pot. I think that American identities are a conglomerate representation of our diverse nation. As an educator, in hopes of furthering young children’s development as “Americans,” I will not only aim to provide the most accurate American history possible, I am driven to teach tomorrow's generation of children to live compassionately and to accept, celebrate and understand differences in one another.

Identity through the Eyes of the Nation

Identity through the Eyes of the Nation

Shannon

            When it comes to the definition of an American Identity, I feel that there is a broad spectrum of aspects that one could use to define themselves through their country. Some base their identities on religion, while others use politics. Family background, ethnicity, and personal experiences also play a role in shaping one's identity. Family dinner conversations and skirmishes at high school are examples of events that have impacted my Identity.

            Being an American can mean many things. Some foreigners view Americans with negative stereotypes such as being overweight or obsessed with making money. Even though those stereotypes may be true, there is so much more to this identity. One ideal that many people base their identity off of is religion. For instance, some people may introduce themselves as a Christian American where as others may introduce themselves as Muslim American. Just because their religions are different doesn’t meant they are any less American.

            Another basis that people identify themselves through is how they view their government. People tend to gravitate towards a specific political party. Right-wing conservatives have much different ideals than that of left-wing liberals. Republicans may want less government involvement while Democrats invite more government involvement to make change happen. At the same time, conservatives might have stricter morals and like things the way they are while liberals are slightly more open-minded and stand by change. Again, I still find both of these groups to be equally American.

            My relatives are fairly conservative and religious. My parents, however, are the lenient ones. Even though they both grew up in very religious environments, they turned out to be pretty open-minded. My mom is Republican while my Dad is a Democrat. This lead to many ‘interesting’ discussions at the dinner table. There have been countless times when my parents would disagree on a subject and go on and on about how one was more correct than the other. I couldn’t be happier that I grew up with both sides of the spectrum because it gave me a chance to choose for myself, rather than be forced into a certain mind set.

            I remember one discussion in particular that got rather heated. A few years ago, our dinner conversation lead to the topic of American troops still occupying Iraq. Now my dad, being the Democrat that he is, immediately reverted to the point that we shouldn’t have gone to war in the first place. He claimed that the decision was made on a false premise; that, after we overthrew Saddam Hussein, it was useless to try and establish democracy. The conflict happening in the country between the Sunnis and the Shiites was that of a civil war; something we had no control over. Moreover, after the fall of Hussein, the troops didn’t protect any of their infrastructures. Our troops were ordered to guard the oil industry, which shows that Bush had a larger agenda in going to Iraq than what he claimed to begin with.

            My mom, on the other hand, disagreed. Even though she agreed halfheartedly that the initial decision was a mistake, she felt that keeping troops there was the right thing to do in order to protect the citizens. Her take on the whole affair was that Saddam Hussein needed to be stopped. She felt that the invasion of our troops was needed to stop the senseless murdering and oppression that Hussein brought on Iraqi people. She also felt that our troops stayed after the fact in order to protect the newly-freed citizens which, in her eyes, needed to happen.

            I feel that being exposed to both parties as a child was extremely beneficial. Listening to the different opinions of my parents on heated topics such as this gave me a chance to not only hear the opinions from both sides of a topic, but also learn outside of the classroom. I always loved seeing how far they would go with the discussion. It never turned into an aggressive quarrel; they simply enjoyed bouncing their opinions off each other and listening to what the other had to say. This also taught me to respect others' opinions, even if they don’t coincide with my own.

            Even when it comes to homosexuality and how people view it, I still feel that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Personally, I feel that it shouldn’t even be discussed whether or not they should receive the same rights or not. They are absolutely no different than anyone else; therefore, why on earth should they be denied any rights at all?  However, if there wasn’t room for others to hold different opinions, this would not be the United States of America. One of the most beautiful things about this country is that everyone has the right to believe and stand by what they wish, as long as they do not cause harm to others. 

            Americans are all connected in certain ways. We are all governed by a democratic system which allows us to choose what we believe and what to stand for. The great thing is that we can all choose what our identity is and what to define it through and still be just as much of an American as the next person.

            My personal identity as an American is greatly influenced by the people that have surrounded me throughout my life. Without my family and friends, I would be nowhere near the person I’ve become. The ideals that I have grown to live by have sprouted from the views of my parents, the observation of my relatives, and the friends that I have become close to.

            Personally, over the years, I have adopted very liberal views. Not totally in the political party sense, but also in a general way. I am very open-minded with different religions as well as sexual orientation. Watching the rest of my relatives speak about homosexuals as “okay but still sinners” made me very upset. I fully believe that homosexuals are absolutely no different than anyone else of heterosexual orientation. Hearing people try to take away the rights of others, particularly the right to marriage, absolutely infuriates me.

            Growing up in a small, predominantly white, rural town has its downsides.  The majority of the citizens of my home town are very conservative and narrow minded. Unfortunately, the stereotypical bullying of minorities, by sexual orientation or by race, happened fairly often. Throughout high school, I became very close with two gay males. They were some of my best friends, so, naturally, whenever I heard someone in the hallway speak against homosexuality, I wasn’t happy.

             One day, a couple of boys started to outwardly make fun of one of my friends. They would constantly make verbal attacks against him, leaving him upset and offended. So, a few days later, I decided to walk with him as he walked by this group of boys. Sure enough, they made a remark. Almost before they were done speaking the word, I walked up to them and asked them to say it again. When they wouldn’t, I asked them what they would do if I had said that to them. After none of them replied, we walked away and left them standing there. Later that day, one of the boys came up to me and apologized.  I told him that I wasn’t the one he should be apologizing to. This whole confrontation made me realize that I could never be that narrow-minded.

            If I had to choose one considerable factor that defined who I am as an American, I would choose my acceptance of others. After seeing the way my friends were treated and the way some of my relatives spoke about them made me take a step back and reinforce my stance as an ally in the LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender) community, as well as my inclination to be open minded and tolerant of all types of people.

When I think about who I am as a person, I find it very difficult to narrow it down to a few words. There are many different parts of my life that I can use to identify myself. Only when I combine my hobbies and interests with my heritage and past experiences am I really able to effectively show who I am.

            I have a semi-diverse background. Not in the racial sense, but of beliefs and ideals. My mother’s side is primarily German Lutheran. In fact, her father was even a priest. My father’s side, on the other hand, is Irish Catholic, which, as you can imagine, has caused a few problems for family reunions; and by that I mean, we’ve never had a family reunion. Luckily for me, my father isn’t huge on religion so he didn’t hesitate to be married under my Grandfather in a Lutheran church. That’s not to say his mother (my grandmother) didn’t nearly refuse to attend the wedding.

            The most family members from both sides that I’ve witnessed gathering at the same occasion was at my sister’s graduation party. There have been other choice occasions, but considering that my family is fairly spread out across the country, it’s difficult to travel the distance to attend weddings and such, so I haven’t been able to attend. It was really interesting to sit back and watch my family from both sides interact with each other. Very small conversation would be made. Topics were simple and mild to avoid any kind disagreements; for there were bound to be some. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that either side hates each other. It’s just that the difference in religion and lifestyles doesn’t make for a pleasant conversation.

Growing up in a fairly religious family, I attended church just about every Sunday. As I got older, however, I really began questioning religion. Seeing how easily it kept my family fairly separate from each other, I naturally didn’t appreciate the concept. There were other reasons I turned away from religion, as well.

I often went to my pastor with questions about homosexuality, exorcisms, and what our “regulations” were about who can go to heaven. Come to find out, Lutherans are very lenient when it comes to applying concepts from the bible to everyday life. When asked about homosexuality, he responded by saying that the bible has been re-written and translated hundreds of times. So, who are we to say that homosexuals are sinners? In Lutheranism, the bible exists more so as a set of guide lines, rather than a literal decree. In fact, the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod just approved the ordination of gay pastors.  

Contrary to what one would normally think, I have actually grown up to be an extremely open person without a huge interest in any one religion. However, if there was any religion that I could have grown up with, I’m glad it was Lutheranism. To me, it seems that Lutherans are much more open to topics such as homosexuality and the respect of other religions. Even though I’ve strayed away from religion today, I feel that growing up as a Lutheran has played a huge role in molding my identity into what it is today.

            Aside from my home life, I’ve been involved with music in school ever since I can remember. I’ve been in chorus, band, jazz band, madrigal choir, marching band and musicals. Music, for me, is something that helps me escape from whatever I’m going through. It gives me something to occupy myself. Also, I simply love to play. At home, whenever I was bored, I’d pick out a couple of piano books, sit down at the piano, and sight read.  It is really relaxing for me, plus it gives me an outlet to vent any emotional issues through the notes that I play.

Throughout my years in grade school, I have met many people through the music department. Music was irrefutably the best part of my day. Not only was I able to take a break from academics, I was able to spend time with people who shared my passion and enthusiasm. Whether it was jazz band rehearsal or music theory, I always found being in a group where everybody has the same interests as you is a great environment for connecting with people. Some of my closest friends that I have today were made in the music wing of my high school.

Whenever you take part in a music ensemble or group, one of the re-occurring ideals is to be ‘open to your feelings.’ I’ll never forget a quote from my band director in 9^th grade: “Never be afraid to say what you feel because good music comes from true emotions, so you’ve got to be true to yourself.” Even though this sounds incredibly corny, this piece of advice has actually helped me come to terms with who I am. Rather than think about what I say to please other people, I learned to say what was really on my mind, which helped me find my place among my peers.

Before I entered high school, I was an extremely anxious person with a hyper active personality, which proved to be extremely annoying for others around me. Even the slightest mishap would send me on a worry rant. Something as simple as a missed question on my homework assignment would drive me to tears due to anxiety. For the longest time, I thought this was normal, until the “phase” never passed.

Eventually, after my sister left for college, my first panic attack was triggered. Soon after, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorder. So, throughout junior high and the first years of high school, I went through a difficult period where therapy and counseling became a part of my weekly schedule. When trying to relax, I would often revert to playing the piano or listening to music. Without the help of therapy, counseling, and music, I would not have changed into the much more relaxed and self-reflecting person that I am now.

Naturally, during this process, my group of friends shifted, causing me to realize who I wanted in my life, as opposed to those who I wanted to please. Before, I spent all of my brainpower focused on making others think highly of me. I never stopped thinking about what others thought of me. It wasn’t until after I was able to stray away from this habit that I was able to forget everyone else and pay more attention to the smaller things in life. I focused more on activities that brought me enjoyment and satisfaction. This step in the healing process really helped me realize what mattered most to me.

Rather than simply naming off a few words and hope to get my personal identity across, I find it extremely effective to use different aspects of my life as an aid to define who I am. However, if I was for some strange reason put in a situation where I was forced to use a few choice words, I feel the words “open-minded, true, appreciative, and introspective” would do the job.

            My identity has formed over the years from many different experiences, habits, and ideals. However, I feel that my identity as an American truly comes to light through my political and social views. In order to really define one’s ‘American Identity,’ I feel it is necessary to define yourself through the eyes of our nation.

            If I had to associate myself with a certain party, I would identify as a liberal democrat. For the most part, I am middle of the road. However, when it comes to change in the government, I am for it as long as the change is based on a reputable premise. For a while, I have held a negative attitude towards our country. I’ve never really felt “proud to be an American.” I’ve read the countless stories of corrupt politicians, loop holes in the judicial system, and the rising unemployment and homeless rates of the population. I always thought that patriotism was corny and misplaced.

            It wasn’t until this past year that my negative, pessimistic attitudes towards the U.S. began to change. My economics professor in high school made an extremely prevalent point one day in class and it’s stuck with me ever since. He started the class period out by taking a small public opinion poll. We had to raise our hands if our view of the government was good, bad, or in-between. Come to find out, the majority of the class raised their hands for bad. He then asked us why that was, if we even had an explanation. The overall census was that our opinions originated from what we acquired from the media. This was exactly the answer he was looking for.

            My economics teacher’s main problem with the population today is that too many people think badly of our government and either A.)Don’t know why, or B.) Don’t do anything about it. He went on to tell us that the media plays a huge role in influencing our opinions. The media (whether it be newspapers, news channels, or the internet) tends to only portray negative stories because that is what the public wants to see. Nobody wants to hear that everything is fine and dandy because, well, it’s just not interesting. This is why my teacher strongly suggested that we use more than just one media source. If you exhaust as many sources as you have available, you will have a much better sense of what is going on in the world today.

            This piece of advice is what first prompted me to rethink my opinion towards this country. Leaving my hometown and entering college also helped me gain new perspective. When you’re stuck in a conservative, closedminded town for a long period of time, it’s easy to be bogged down by the negative attitudes of the people around you. Living on my own has helped me realize just how fortunate I am for the opportunity to grow up in a free society. Even though we have our fair share of problems, I’m now starting to appreciate what being an American can mean.

            Through the friends I’ve made, the family I’ve grown up with, the experiences I’ve shared, and the background I’ve come from, I have formed a personal identity that is definitive and unique. My ability to listen to others and express myself are a huge part of who I am. However, it isn’t until I view my identity through the country I’ve been raised in that I can successfully show who I am as an American.